Monthly Archives: February 2011

Showdown in Los Angeles Mall, 3 injured, 2 dead, 1 back from dead.

Showdown in Los Angeles Mall, 3 injured, 2 dead, 1 back from dead.

The security gates were just opening for the day throughout the Beverly Center mall on what would have otherwise been a typical saturday morning.  Employees …

 

Borderline Personality Recorder.

Borderline Personality Recorder.

I wonder if Charlie Sheen needs a biographer. I couldn’t help but write it in the first person; diving into the muck and sculpting it into …

 

The long walk.

The long walk.

I need an adventure, I’m feeling restless. It’s one of those sell everything I own and buy a plane ticket to anywhere kind of feelings. …

 

It’s still a desert, even when wet.

It’s still a desert, even when wet.

If you’re going to assume that some higher entity has taken an interest in your life, try to think about what you’re implying while you …

 

Smiling Jack the Anarch

Smiling Jack the Anarch

The influence model of reality states that reality is the sum of the interactions of influence, in order to be real, to exist; and the …

 

Karaoke Unicorn Fireball!

Karaoke Unicorn Fireball!

7 Habits of semi-effective people, a guide to something like empowerment. 1. Believe in yourself: Find no fault in yourself, this is the core principle.  If there …

 

Adverbsly

Adverbsly

Dear Adverbs, First, I should be clear, I am not addressing adverbial phrases, nor you clumps of words that become, through no merit of your own, …

 

Everybody’s working for the weekend.

Everybody’s working for the weekend.

Amazon’s “Reccomended for You” system is fucking idiotic. Whenever you order anything from amazon, it goes into your purchase history, and is used to recommended other products that …

 

President company.

President company.

Monday is president’s day!  I’m so excited. I plan on spending the day researching my favorite presidents and learning all about them.  Then I’m going to …

 

Passive Aggressive Rebellion

Passive Aggressive Rebellion

I love sleep, tangerines, and the redemption of character flaws, in that order.  I hate routine, getting cuts on my fingers, and unintended sequels.  I …

 

Absentee Control Freak.

Absentee Control Freak.

It feels like the whole thing is sinking back into the earth, the house, the telephone poles, the office buildings and movie theaters.  I go …

 

We pay top dollar for your cash!

We pay top dollar for your cash!

Fast, Easy, Secure. Get money for your old cash! Get the best rate for your bills, loose change, even cashier’s checks and money orders! Follow These …

 

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk.

It’s a rare rainy day in LA, an Ernest Hemingway day, the kind that ends with a blackout and a hangover. Which means that tomorrow the …

 

Giant Tiger runs wild in DTLA! Veterinarian implicated in sex scandal.

Giant Tiger runs wild in DTLA! Veterinarian implicated in sex scandal.

This morning, at 4:42 AM, Enrico Gustavo made a frantic call to 911.  “Help me!  I’m trapped in my car and I’m about to be …

 

Valentine’s Day Zombie Massacre

Valentine’s Day Zombie Massacre

Los Angeles Gun Club.  For a few bucks you can take your pick from a massive selection of guns, buy a box of ammo or …

 

The slices of the lambs.

The slices of the lambs.

Vegan pot-roast for lunch at Doomie’s on Vine. Me, a committed carnivore. Pot roast, of all things to fake with Seitan and Tofu,  a staple of my american …

 

Lupercalia: Fuck that valentine.

Lupercalia: Fuck that valentine.

Lupercalia is an ancient pagan festival, like most of the good ones, about fucking, feasting, and sacrifice.    It was meant to ward off evil, …

 

Listening to the fish

Listening to the fish

Horoscope for today: DJs will resume playing full songs, bars will serve drinks in glass, and no one will find the body you buried last week. …

 

I think it goes: Time spent wasted is not wasted time.

I think it goes: Time spent wasted is not wasted time.

I’m going to forget a lot of things, that’s inevitable.  I’ll forget them all when I die. My friend Matt argues that there’s no point in …

 

Monday, oh Monday, you make me drink.

Monday, oh Monday, you make me drink.

Clocking in.  When I’m in Los Angeles, I think about New York; When I’m in New York, blah blah blah. Anyway, now is one of those …

 

I missed my own anniversary.

I missed my own anniversary.

I didn’t really think about it, but SaveRana has been up for a year now, and I’ve been kind of keeping up with it… so …

 
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