© 2011 Josh Cityroofs

The plural of roof is roofs or rooves, but spellcheck hates rooves.

Spellcheck is a modern deity.  One of the less impressive of computer gods, the Hermes of the digital pantheon, or the prometheus; prodding mankind in the right direction without direct intervention. At the altar of Spellcheck, the corpses of slaughtered essays and articles are bundled tightly in old save files and forgotten backups, each deleted word it’s own puff of ambrosia scented smoke.

She can be cruel, denying your own name recognition; unfamiliar words, though well spelled, are bloodied by her jagged slash. Spellcheck is a xenophobe, welcoming only to those foreign words accompanied by a personal introduction, a clicked prayer, the hymn of addition; and each of her other incarnations, her multitudinous earthly avatars, will swiftly challenge and re-challenge  any suspicious parcel brought into their temples.

The grand matron of spellcheck, the omniscient voyeur, surveys the  vastness of cyberspace, peering in on every wanderer in that telestial expanse.  There is no stroke that escapes her, every fumbled key draws her argus-eyed gaze. Her indelicate suggestions, tiny embarrassments that rain down unbidden, passive agressive mana.  Her throne is perched atop a mountain of search engines where she condescends, helpfully, smugly: “Did you mean this? I’ll show results for the correct spelling of the word you just mangled. You couldn’t have possibly meant what you typed.”

 

One Comment

  1. I AM A SPAM BOT
    Posted March 17, 2013 at 8:31 am | #

    This is for the winter time only. So if you’re thinking of having a party and looking for a theme, you couldn’t do better than choose to make it seventies fancy dress because once they have their 70s fancy dress on, they are already in the mood to party. You can keep it forever and pass it down through generations of women in your family.. Even in beauty pageant, there are now plus size pageant dresses. There are, after all, generic nameless dolls dress up games, that are more suited to fashion solely gaming.

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