© 2011 Josh gloomyassday

It’s still a desert, even when wet.

If you’re going to assume that some higher entity has taken an interest in your life, try to think about what you’re implying while you talk about it.  Exempli gratia: ‘I think the universe is telling me that it’s time to go back to being a brunette.’  Id est: In the vast unknown, the spiraling wondrous mystery of the celestial, conscious, concerned, benevolent intelligence is dropping hints about your style.  Well, fuck, good thing you’re paying attention.

The universe didn’t interfere with that text message you were trying to send because it’s trying to protect you from making a bad decision. The universe interfered with your cell phone reception because it is filled with radiation, obscuring particulates, impenetrable barriers, and  conflicting signals at similar frequencies.

While I can’t definitely state that the universe, if it is, as you assume, an entity capable of thought, will, and preference, would not be interested in your surprising lack of ability to make simple decisions on your own without attributing them to a higher power,  I can say that your insistence that it would gives me an excellent platform from which I can condescend you.

“The bike lane’s glowing all over the city, My bike ‘specializes’ in the nitty-gritty”
– Cibo Matto,  Sci-Fi Wasabi

 

 

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