© 2011 Josh bottle-monster

Plastic Bottles.

Okay, so is PET plastic bad for me if my bottles of water are exposed to sunlight? Or should I use SODIS to kill the bacteria in my water?

Is it a good thing that plastic bottles are made of a material that’s recyclable, or bad because it’s non-biodegradable.

If the bottled water industry switched to glass, how much of a difference would it make? Why aren’t beer companies aren’t switching to plastic?

And the answers are, according to my lazy google searching-

Studies conducted by independent researchers around the world have determined that exposure to heat and sunlight will cause the leaching of DEHP and DEHA from PET bottles, it is typically in safe trace amounts.  However, in significant amounts, or exposure over a long timeline can lead to a build up of DEHP and DEHA in the liver that may lead to cancer.  It is not a likely scenario.

However, the terror and panic about water bottles and sunlight seem to link consumer water bottles with a chemical known as BPA (bisphenol a – wikipedia).  This shit is bad news for the body, and is a well documented cause of birth defects, cancer, obesity, insanity, the spite of god, faceworms, and brain explosion.   Luckily, BPA is only found in baby bottles and pvc plumbing, which no one ever has  to handle.  That’s it about this, you’ve got plenty to google now.

If you couldn’t be bothered to follow the SODIS link above, here’s the gist of it: take a bottle of bacteria infested water, lay it in the sun for a good six hours, and enjoy.  You’ll be way less likely to become infected with salmonella and other dangerous bacterialiens, Here’s how I think it works:

The sun is an angry ball of fire and wrath.  Plastic bottles are the tricksters of the mineral kingdom. The plastic bottle taunts the sun, which becomes enraged and hurls beams of deadly solar energy at the water bottle, but only succeeds in killing everything inside the bottle.  This angers the sun even further, and is why people get skin cancer.


PET plastic is often hailed as being %100 recyclable. Unfortunately, nobody recycles. So it ends up in the ocean.  PET isn’t biodegradable, but it does break down into its constituent polymers, which, once at home in the sea, take the appearance of thin flakes similar to some forms of marine life.  Now, the food ‘web’ being what it is; it’s natural that these little flakes of plastic end up being eaten by fish, who are in turn eaten by other fish, and birds, and people, who are then eaten by giant monsters made of plastic.  Long story short, if you don’t want to get eaten, then recycle. The science is a little complicated, so I drew this picture.





















Why Plastic? Can the bottled water industry switch to glass, and does it matter?

The final word from corporations like Pepsi is that they’re trying to find solutions.  A few days ago, pepsi announced that it will begin full scale commercialization of its plant-matter based PET bottles in 2012.  Since pepsi produces Aquafina, which I think is spanish for tapwater, and covers 22% of the market for bottled water in pakistan, a country with somewhere between 2,000 and 180,000,000 people; it should make a difference.  But I only cite this example because I’m very lazy, and it demonstrates the scope.   The truth is, it doesn’t matter. Not because there isn’t a negative effect to the environment, and health, and communication with intelligent beings in other dimensions; but because you can be sure sure that no matter what process and materials are used, it will be incredibly destructive and resource intensive.

Le Conclusion:

It’s tap water, really.  In bottles that may or may not be bad for you but are definitely bad for the environment.


Think Outside the Bottle pressured Coke and Pepsi to put the words “Public Water Source” on it”s bottles of Dasani and Aquafina, pepsi caved. Dasani changed their label to say ‘enhanced with minerals for a pure fresh taste’ in reference to the fact they added salt to tap water to make it taste better.

Anyway, there’s lots of panic and shit about how terrible bottled water is for everyone and their babies;  plastic is ruining the universe and evil corporations and blah blah blah.  The truth is, if you live in America, your only real reason to drink bottled water is convenience, and that means you’re a lazy fuck and its your fault.


  1. Jenny K
    Posted March 21, 2011 at 10:17 pm | #

    Hahaha, asshole. I had to read that whole thing just so you could tell me I’m a lazy fuck. It’s true.

  2. Kimmortal
    Posted March 22, 2011 at 8:14 pm | #

    WINNING = “The plastic bottle taunts the sun, which becomes enraged and hurls beams of deadly solar energy at the water bottle, but only succeeds in killing everything inside the bottle. This angers the sun even further, and is why people get skin cancer.”

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